by Nicole Serafin
Serge Benhayon has been an incredible and intricate part of my life in many ways, both in how I am with myself, in my relationships, my family and how I now choose to live.
I have been blessed to know Serge for over 15 years and during this time my life has certainly had its ups and downs. When we first met, it was most certainly at a major down. I lived my days in major overwhelm, chaos and complication, seeking solace in Pilates, alcohol, marijuana, work and the isolation of my property which I saw as my haven, my escape from the world.
Serge has been an absolute support and inspiration for me in my relationship with my partner, always there no matter what time of day or night. He listened to me cry, rant, rave or blame, forever feeling like I was in a relationship that had no purpose, a relationship where we were constantly at each other, nit picking, highly reactive to each other. I remember one day calling Serge in absolute tears, I could barely talk, which happened many times during the early years of with my partner and my relationship, and again, he listened intently, offering simple words, ‘Be patient, give it time’. Words I had heard before from him, and all I could think was, ‘Really… again… how patient can a woman be?!’. I was waiting for the ‘I told you so’ however never in my 15+ years of knowing Serge has he ever told me what to do or what not to do … that is the beautiful thing, he never judges, criticises or imposes anything at anytime.
I had to begin to build a whole new level of understanding and acceptance, something I had never entertained before; after all I had been blaming others for why my life was the way it was for a very long time. It was HUGE and took time, and is something I am still working on, developing and deepening.
Looking back, none of this was ever expressed to me in the phone calls, cups of tea or meals shared with Serge, he only ever listened. The absolute love, support and understanding he lives both with himself and in his own relationship was enough to inspire me to begin to make changes in my life for myself.
Taking responsibility is a big thing, we go through life blaming others for why we are the way we are, why our life, family or relationships are the way they are; but how often do we actually stop to see what we have contributed to all that we are involved in or part of?
Simply observing Serge and how he is with his own partner, family, friends and extended family is truly inspiring. Never had I seen or experienced such love and support, an understanding for humanity that left me feeling like I had held my partner to ransom, keeping him at bay just in case he may hurt me; when in truth I was harming myself every single moment I chose not to take responsibility for my choices, my behaviours, ideals or beliefs.
My relationship has gone from one that I never thought would last past the first year of marriage, to now heading into our 14th year with many more to come. I know if it were not for the love, support and understanding Serge offered us, my husband and I would have been divorced many years ago. Serge was one of the only people who did not suggest we separate, our close friends even asked, ‘Why bother?’ but Serge constantly supports both of us to come together and build a true relationship; a relationship that is not built on needs, hurts nor ideals and beliefs.
Our children now have an opportunity to live with and be part of a true family, to grow up knowing there is more to a relationship than ticking the boxes. My husband and myself now have an opportunity to live together without the expectations, hurts, ideals or beliefs coming between us and from that we can parent our children together, no separation, competition or resentment but from equality.
Serge Benhayon is a true role model, not because of what he says, teaches or presents, but by what he lives, walks and breathes – which is an absolute love and understanding for all of humanity.
I know I would not have the marriage and family I have today if it were not for the choices Serge himself has made to live a life dedicated to love.